So, Paula hasn't had a very good attendance record since she started. She's probably missed some or all of half of her days here for the month she's been around. Hasn't left a very good impression. Which is where Deb, the accountant steps in. She is a woman who takes it upon herself to avoid doing her own job by making sure other people are doing theirs. Oh, but it goes so much farther than that. Allow me to elaborate.
Paula's penchant for missing work has made her an easy target for Deb. And it has begun. Two days ago after Paula had left work early to go to her part-time job---something that is sanctioned by the owner of this company---Deb took it upon herself to go into Paula's office, fire up her computer, and snoop through her web search history. Deb's zeal for striking gold was fueled. Facebook. Shopping sites. Dating sites. Job search sites.
She went ahead and printed out 20 or so pages of this, comes into my office ranting about it and decides to give it to the VP. She does, of course, but I'm assuming he did nothing with it as is par for the course.
The next morning, Deb tells Paula that the VP---not Deb---was looking through her search history.
Being the compassionate, all-day-web-fucking-around person that I am, I felt a bit for Paula. So I educated her on the ways of Incognito mode. Deb came ranting into my office this morning that Paula must have remembered to delete her search history, because there wasn't anything damning there today. And all I can think to myself is job well done.
I wish it ended there.
Paula called in today---she said she forgot that she had to go to a court hearing today in regards to an accident (drunk driver I believe) that killed her sister a while ago. Deb flipped her shit at this reason/excuse, and has spent the entire morning looking through circuit court records to try to determine if Paula indeed has a hearing to go to. She could not find anything, and believes that Paula is lying about why she's not at work.
I don't care one way or another, but I do feel Deb's method, approach and attitude are about as fucked up as they can get.
Focus
H: This CD is pretty great
(hands it to me)
R: Sweet, I'll definitely rip it. Man, between you and my roommate I've added like 300 songs to my music library in the past week.
H: Uh oh, poor musicians out there not getting their money.
(laughter)
R: Yeah, I'm all about sharing. Hey, did you get that email I sent you?
(blank stare)
R: The one about the machines we're missing from Cruisers?
H: Oh yeah, I think they just kept those ones. I'll send Mark an email to see which ones they have there that are still for sale.
R: Ok cool. (picks up stack of files) And I have these two which are mainly...
H: Cause I gotta talk to him about that stuff.
R: Right on, these files are ones that I need to...
H: And that CD says it was on Crown Records, but they were never on Crown Records; this was bootleg that was pressed from the vinyl and reissued. They even spelled the name wrong on the back and one of the songs is mistitled.
(sets down files)
R: Right on man. Right on.
(hands it to me)
R: Sweet, I'll definitely rip it. Man, between you and my roommate I've added like 300 songs to my music library in the past week.
H: Uh oh, poor musicians out there not getting their money.
(laughter)
R: Yeah, I'm all about sharing. Hey, did you get that email I sent you?
(blank stare)
R: The one about the machines we're missing from Cruisers?
H: Oh yeah, I think they just kept those ones. I'll send Mark an email to see which ones they have there that are still for sale.
R: Ok cool. (picks up stack of files) And I have these two which are mainly...
H: Cause I gotta talk to him about that stuff.
R: Right on, these files are ones that I need to...
H: And that CD says it was on Crown Records, but they were never on Crown Records; this was bootleg that was pressed from the vinyl and reissued. They even spelled the name wrong on the back and one of the songs is mistitled.
(sets down files)
R: Right on man. Right on.
Processes 1
Tree: Boss wants you to put that video file on a DVD and mail it to the customer.
Russ: He what?
Tree: The file is too big to send through email he says so he wants a DVD mailed to the customer.
Russ: He wants a 12MB file put onto a 5GB DVD and then mail it to the customer?
Tree: Yep.
Russ: Can't we just upload to YouTube or send the file to DropBox and provide a link?
Tree: The customer can't access YouTube at work.
Russ: They can't access YouTube off-network or have their IT department make an exception for the user?
Tree: *throws hands up* I don't know! This is what Boss wants, I'm just passing along a message.
Russ: We're not sending this guy a DVD.
Russ: He what?
Tree: The file is too big to send through email he says so he wants a DVD mailed to the customer.
Russ: He wants a 12MB file put onto a 5GB DVD and then mail it to the customer?
Tree: Yep.
Russ: Can't we just upload to YouTube or send the file to DropBox and provide a link?
Tree: The customer can't access YouTube at work.
Russ: They can't access YouTube off-network or have their IT department make an exception for the user?
Tree: *throws hands up* I don't know! This is what Boss wants, I'm just passing along a message.
Russ: We're not sending this guy a DVD.
Russ Log: November 10th, 2014
It is 8:07am. I am tired. Blizzcon happened over the weekend, and I'm still groggy from my flight home last night. But not too groggy to realize that the two-dozen sheets of paper printed solid black on my desktop do indeed exist. What the fuck happened in here, I thought to myself. I learn later that someone tried to print a PDF.
Still Russ
I've been here six months. My boss still sends me email with a greeting to Russ. He occasionally still calls me Russ when he pages me office. I've resorted to not answering until he calls me by the correct name. He's getting better.
I suppose the light in all of this is that I still have my job after six months, despite the inability to initially do what they hired me for. I've been able to figure out HTML well enough to make update to their existing website using the basic templates. They won't be getting new features any time soon, but my feeling is they'd like to maintain the status quo anyway.
I suppose the light in all of this is that I still have my job after six months, despite the inability to initially do what they hired me for. I've been able to figure out HTML well enough to make update to their existing website using the basic templates. They won't be getting new features any time soon, but my feeling is they'd like to maintain the status quo anyway.
The Nark
It's Monday, back from the weekend that followed the day I was crowned. It's early, I'm still waking up at my desk. I hear a knock at my door. It's Goss. I ask her what's up and she enters my office and closes the door.
"Now that I know what sort of person you are," she begins, and I stop her right there.
"Excuse me?" I interrupt.
"Someone told the Boss that we were all screwing around on Friday, so now we know you can't be trusted."
I see. Everyone was fucking off on Friday with the PC troubleshooting (me included), somebody who works here probably said something to Junior who went ahead and said something to his dad, the Boss. She's assuming, of course, that it was me, the new guy. I forcefully explain to her that I'm not the nark, and that I'm offended she even assumed so. I ask why she's engage with me like that, and not just outright talk to me.
She bursts into tears. Sniveling and shaking, she apologizes to me and leaves my office.
What have I gotten myself into?
"Now that I know what sort of person you are," she begins, and I stop her right there.
"Excuse me?" I interrupt.
"Someone told the Boss that we were all screwing around on Friday, so now we know you can't be trusted."
I see. Everyone was fucking off on Friday with the PC troubleshooting (me included), somebody who works here probably said something to Junior who went ahead and said something to his dad, the Boss. She's assuming, of course, that it was me, the new guy. I forcefully explain to her that I'm not the nark, and that I'm offended she even assumed so. I ask why she's engage with me like that, and not just outright talk to me.
She bursts into tears. Sniveling and shaking, she apologizes to me and leaves my office.
What have I gotten myself into?
The Burger King
Sometime in April, 2014
Something went wrong with the operating system on the company's main PC. It's the hub that stores all of the company's client and vendor files, the website files, employee records---everything. Something went wrong when updating a Windows version, from what I can gather. I'm not an IT person but I love a good troubleshoot, so I have a go at it.
The two administrative assistants, Tree and Goss, are having a good time figuring out this problem with me. It's taking the better part of the morning, but it looks like I've found a fix. A driver here, a rollback there, and we're all set.
Goss runs to Burger King for lunch, comes back with a cardboard crown and hands it to me, a reward for a job well done.
Something went wrong with the operating system on the company's main PC. It's the hub that stores all of the company's client and vendor files, the website files, employee records---everything. Something went wrong when updating a Windows version, from what I can gather. I'm not an IT person but I love a good troubleshoot, so I have a go at it.
The two administrative assistants, Tree and Goss, are having a good time figuring out this problem with me. It's taking the better part of the morning, but it looks like I've found a fix. A driver here, a rollback there, and we're all set.
Goss runs to Burger King for lunch, comes back with a cardboard crown and hands it to me, a reward for a job well done.
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